


(only know you love him) when you let him go

by orphan_account



Category: Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019)
Genre: Established Relationship, Friends With Benefits, Jealousy, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-30 14:09:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20448389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Cliff liked being Rick's errand boy. He liked driving him around, cleaning his house and occasionally sucking his dick. He liked it because Rick wasn't just his employer, he was his only friend. After a day of hard work on set, they would sit on Rick's couch, drink beer and watch the weekly episode of whatever dumb shit they were showing on TV at the time. Right now, in Italy, they don't do it anymore. They don't drink and laugh together, and with all those Italian women around, Cliff doesn't even get to suck dick. Tired of that, he decides to go back to Los Angeles. Is Rick going to let him go?





	(only know you love him) when you let him go

Cliff sat in the driver's seat of Rick's new car and looked out of the window. The landscape sometimes reminded him of America, but it also had a hint of something foreign and wild. Italy was beautiful, he couldn't disagree with that. Cliff was never a fan of spaghetti westerns (seriously, who even watches this shit?), but after nearly two months of Rick starring in those, he started to change his mind. His friend was finally rising to international fame, and he fuckin' deserved it.

"Cliff! You're n-not gonna b-believe this!" Rick hopped onto the passenger seat, visibly excited. "T-they want me to star in another movie!"

"Now that calls for a celebration, am I right? Or maybe you're too busy to have a couple of beers with a friend?" Cliff teased, patting the actor's back. Playing in three big pictures in a row was not something that happened all the time, no matter how fine an actor you are.

"Can't do, sorry." Rick apologized and averted his gaze. "There is this lady that's gonna play my sweetheart in the movie, I'm meeting her for drinks tonight."

"Oh. Well, no worries. Why don't you tell me what this new movie is about?"

"Oh, now this is a good one! They told me it's based on a book, a damn good book, I'm sure. So, there are Indians..."

Cliff couldn't help but smile while listening to Rick's prattle - he seemed really excited about his new feature. Still, a part of him wished that they were still in Los Angeles, shooting_ Bounty Law _on Spahn Movie Ranch. 

At that time, everything seemed so much easier.

-

The next couple of days weren't too exciting for Cliff either. He still did his job as Rick's stunt double, but lately, he didn't have much work to do on set. He mainly spent his free time driving around, drinking beer and taking his dog for long walks. At that moment he was sitting in his friend's room, helping Rick prepare for another date with Francesca. Trying on the sixth pair of pants, he was really desperate to look good that night,

Another evening I'll spend on my own, Cliff thought.

"Cliff, buddy! You still with me?" Rick's voice startled Cliff out of his thoughts, and he remembered that the actor asked him a question.

"Sorry. What did you say?"

"The outfit. How do I look? You know the Italian girls, they're all about fashion."

Cliff stared at his friend. Honestly, he looked better than Cliff expected him to. At first, he wasn't really into Rick's new fashion choices - it made him look a bit like Roman Polanski, and Cliff wasn't sure if that was a good thing. But after all, he didn't look half bad.

"You're totally pulling it off. I'm telling you, Francesca is going to like these tight pants." Cliff replied with a smirk, and let his gaze slide down to Rick's ass. The pants did a good job of showing his best assets - if it was Cliff going on a date with Rick, he wouldn't even want to stop staring at his buttocks.

"Thanks, buddy. Let's get going then, alright?" Rick swallowed and headed to the door, a slight blush on his cheeks.

Cliff's eyes followed Rick out of the room. If he didn't have to drive him and Francesca to the restaurant, he sure would stay in bed for the rest of the evening.

Rick had always been a little shy, a little insecure, but never with Cliff. He still remembered the first time they kissed. The kiss was rough and sloppy and in rush. Even though it was far from perfect, it was enough to make a tough man like Cliff Booth fall in love. Not that Cliff hoped that Rick had romantic feelings for him too, not at all. Cliff was perfectly fine with the friendship they had, with some pleasant benefits. At that moment though, there were no more benefits and not that much of a friendship lately.

-

_Cliff took a swig of his drink, already feeling the warmth of alcohol in his blood. Fortunately, nobody here had a problem with drinking on set, as long as the actors were able to play their parts._

_"You killed that scene with the sheriff, man. That's what I call good acting!" Cliff offered his friend a beer, smiling broadly_

_"You weren't bad either. Didn't know it takes so much talent to fall off a horse."_

_For a while, they sat in silence, not feeling the need to talk about anything. Cliff shot a glance at the actor, and the corners of his lips twitched upwards. Wearing the Jake Cahill outfit, Rick looked quite intimidating. Quite attractive, too. The truth was, Cliff never cared enough for what other people say to be ashamed of his sexuality. He liked fucking women, and he liked fucking men too. That was the first fact about Mr Booth. The second one, he was a man of action. That's why he couldn't find any arguments against telling Rick what he thought about his boots and his cowboy hat._

_"You look pretty fucking hot right now, you know?" he asked casually, as if talking about the weather._

_The younger man just stared at him for a couple of seconds with an unreadable expression. Cliff wondered if Rick was going to storm out of the trailer, simply accept the compliment, or maybe punch Cliff in the face and call him a faggot._

_"You should have s-said that sooner, the break is almost over." Rick looked a little nervous, but his voice sounded confident._

_Cliff wanted to ask what he meant by that, but before he could say anything, Rick took a step forward and kissed him with passion. Cliff felt a wave of arousal and eagerly responded, feeling Rick's hand on his thigh, so hot it was almost burning his skin. He was already in the process of removing his shirt when they heard the director ordering everyone to come back on set._

_"We better go. Maybe next time I'll let you give me a blowjob."_

_-_

They arrived at Francesca's house precisely at 7 pm. After five, maybe ten minutes of waiting, she finally left the house, ready to go. Cliff listened to their quiet conversation in the backseat, and no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to hate that woman. First of all, Francesca was beautiful. With her dark, curly hair and a figure to die for, she embodied the spirit of all Italian women. And if that wasn't enough to make a man fall for her, she also seemed to genuinely like Rick, not only for his fame or his money.

"We're here. You want me to pick you up later?" Cliff asked, silently praying that they let him stay at home

"No, thanks, buddy. We can take a walk, right, love?"

"Sure, caro. Evening walks are so romantic." Francesca purred, kissing Rick on his cheek

Cliff didn't wait for them to go inside the restaurant. He started the car, wanting to go home as soon as possible and lie on the couch with Brandy. Or maybe go to a bar and get so drunk he won't be able to walk. Yes, that seemed like a better plan - the good old solution to any problem he ever had. 

Cliff cursed under his breath, slowly sipping his whiskey. He didn't know how much shots he had already drunk, but he didn't care the slightest bit. The more he thought about his feelings, the less he knew about what kind of a man he was. Rick might be a celebrity, but Cliff Booth was famous in a different kind of way. A former soldier and a stuntman, Cliff was known as a tough guy. Good in combat, possibly a murderer, not the type of man to get drunk over unrequited love.

"Another one." Cliff cleared his throat, watching the bartender fill the glass with his finest alcohol. "Thanks."

Not all the rumours were true, but most of the stuff the people said wasn't false either. Cliff was damn good in combat, better than most of the soldiers and martial artists he met (especially Bruce Lee). He had to kill while being in the army and although he didn't pride himself on that it was what they told him to do. Still, he would never kill a person just for the sake of it, and especially not a woman.  
And what about the last point? That one has been true for his whole life. Contrary to popular beliefs, he fell in love a couple of times. And of course, there were times when it was unrequited. Some of them just wanted to be friends, and some didn't want to know him at all. Cliff always told himself to fuck it, and move on, what unfortunately didn't seem to work with Rick fucking Dalton.

"One more, p-please." Cliff slurred, feeling his eyelids getting heavy. For a while, he considered going back to his car, but he was already way too drunk to care about someone stealing his wallet. By the time the bartender brought him another glass, he was already asleep.

-

Fortunately, Rick didn't mention the fact that when Cliff picked him up the next morning, he looked like shit and desperately needed a shower. Although, he must have noticed that something was wrong because it was the first day in weeks when Rick decided to spend time only with Cliff, not with Francesca or some of his new actor friends. For the next week, Cliff almost felt like they were still in Los Angeles. They went for dinner together, drank some wine, and Rick even managed to give him a kiss after drinking a few glasses of Chianti.

Sadly, this didn't last long.

Cliff decided he's had enough on the day of the movie premiere. He knew that he couldn't attend the event wearing one of his favourite Hawaiian shirts and denim trousers, that's why he even bought some fashionable clothes. From what he saw on set he knew that Rick was going to be the absolute star of the film, and he wouldn't want to miss the opportunity to be one of the first people to see it.

"Hey, Rick! At what time do you wanna leave?" Cliff asked, leaning on the doorway to the actor's room.

"Oh no, you don't have to bother. Have I introduced you to Alberto Sordi? He's also gonna be there, and I'll just ride with him." Rick hummed, clearly not noticing the flash of emotion on Cliff's face.

"I'm going with you, ain't I? No way I'm going to miss the new Rick Dalton feature!"

"Well, umm... That's the problem." the actor finally stopped moving around the room, now fully focused on Cliff's face "It's not like I don't want you to be there, because I do. Y-you know I do, right? It's just... I'm famous now, you know? And you just don't fit there, you know? These people, they don't like you, Cliff."

Cliff didn't say anything, and he could see that his friend didn't feel so good about the whole situation. Yet, he couldn't truly believe that Rick wanted him to be there, because rich people from the movie industry usually didn't like him.

(He remembered Janet from The Green Hornet. Even before he kicked the shit out of Bruce, that woman hated him with passion.)

And still, it never stopped Rick from convincing them to let Cliff stick around.

"No worries, I'm sure you tried." Cliff plastered on his best fake smile and playfully punched his friend in the arm. That night was another one of those when he went to his new favourite bar and spent his whole salary on the most expensive whiskey they had to offer. Somewhere between his fifth and sixth glass, Cliff made a decision.  
He's going back to America.

-

Saying goodbye to Rick broke Cliff's heart a little. Not only because he was leaving his best friend, but also because Rick didn't seem to care at all.

"Are you sure you don't wanna stick around for a while longer?" he asked, looking at Cliff with a glimmer of hope "I still need a stuntman, you know?"

"I'd like to, buddy, but it's just not exactly my cup of tea. As you said, I don't really fit here. But you'll be good, right? You met some damn good people here." Cliff cleared his throat, not trusting his voice not to betray him at that moment.

Deep down, Cliff hoped that Rick would try to stop him. Tell him how much he values Cliff as a friend, ask him to stay. Maybe his blue eyes would tear up, as they always did when Rick was upset, angry or embarrassed. He hoped that Rick would say that all those Italian greaseballs don't mean anything to him.

"I'm going to miss you, but I guess you're right. I have Francesca now." Rick's tone was friendly, but those words felt like anything but. For a split second, Cliff hated that woman with his whole heart.

Since Rick landed another role in a movie, an Italian James Bond ripoff, Cliff didn't expect to see him again for at least two months, probably longer. That meant, he didn't really have to worry about what he should and shouldn't do. Without any second thoughts, he moved closer to Rick, smiling at the confusion forming on his face. Without warning, he kissed the actor on the lips. Not giving Rick the chance to kiss back, Cliff turned around and left.

And if Rick's eyes did tear up a little, Cliff was already too far away to notice.

-

A month after leaving Italy, Cliff was almost sure that the phrase "bored to death" could be literal. He thought about finding a permanent job, he even tried once or twice, but it always ended with him being fired. He also visited Rick's house, fixed his roof and cleaned his pool. Still, no matter how hard he tried, he spent most of his time in the trailer, with Brandy as his only companion.

"Well, let's see what have we got here" Cliff muttered to himself, pulling out a copy of a Playboy magazine. Brandy barked at him as if she was disapproving on Cliff's choice of ways to spend his free time.

"I know, you're also tired of staying here all day" Cliff laughed, patting the dog's head "We're gonna walk when it's colder, alright?"

Brandy stared at him for a good minute, but finally conceded and lay on the floor, patiently waiting for her master to finally take her outside. Cliff returned to reading his magazine, feeling the blood flowing to his already semi-hard cock. He was about to unbutton his pants when he heard a knock on the door.

"The best fucking moment possible." Cliff sighed, wondering if he should put on a shirt. He decided not to, as he couldn't think of anybody from LA that he cared about enough to make himself presentable.

"I'm coming!" Cliff shouted when the knocking became louder. He opened the door, and his mouth fell open when he noticed the person standing there. Shit, he should've put on that shirt.

Rick Dalton was standing in his doorway, looking as good as always. It seemed like he got bored with his seemingly fashionable clothes, and decided to go back to his old dressing style. Not that Cliff was complaining, the Polanski style didn't suit him.

"You cleaned my pool." it was a weird thing to start a conversation with, but Rick wasn't wrong, so Cliff just nodded dumbly "And fixed my roof."

"Well, good to see you too." Cliff attempted a joke, still a little confused about why Rick decided to go back to the US so soon.

"Y-y-you still did all these things, even after I treated you so p-poorly that you left." Rick sniffled, looking like he was going to cry. His stuttering was worse than usual, which meant that he was really upset. It made Cliff sad, but at the same moment, he felt a pang of happiness in his chest. It meant that Rick did care after all.

"Course I did. You wouldn't want to see the mess I had to clean up." Cliff joked again, trying to cheer his friend up "It wasn't your fault I left"

"S-stop it. We both know it was."

Well, he was right. It was his fault. Still, after all this time, Cliff didn't want to see Rick blaming himself. He was getting softer with age, and there was nothing he could do. Cliff invited Rick inside, painfully aware of the fact that he was shirtless, and had an erection. He opened the fridge and pulled out two bottles of beer.

"So, you came back home. Any particular reason?"

The look that Rick gave him explained everything. Cliff didn't want to assume things, but the little spark of happiness in his chest suddenly turned into a burning flame.

"I proposed to Francesca. She accepted."

"What?!" Cliff blurted out before he could stop himself. This wasn't the answer he expected, and definitely not the one he wanted to hear. If Rick came here to invite him to his wedding, Cliff couldn't promise that he wouldn't try to make Brandy bite him in the ass.

"Don't worry, it's over now." Rick almost laughed at the look on Cliff's face, but he was still insecure about saying the most important thing so far. "I r-really liked her, I did. And then we started planning to move in together, and I thought of a big house with a bunch of children. It's not really for me, you know? I understand if you wanna talk first, it's..."

"Oh hell no. No talking."

Cliff didn't waste his time on unnecessary conversations, at least not in that situation. His lips met Rick's in a chaste kiss, sweet and full of longing. The last time he kissed Rick was only a month ago, but it seemed like years, or decades even. Cliff thought a lot about that kiss on the Movie Ranch. Still, it was this time that felt like a true first, the first time they weren't afraid to admit that what they have is so much more than just a way to pass time whenever they felt bored.

Cliff's hand was reaching to unzip Rick's trousers, but Rick caught his wrist, stopping him halfway.

"After all these times, I think I owe you one" Rick smiled and dropped on his knees, pulling down Cliff's pants instead. And even if Rick didn't have any experience, Cliff still came faster than he would ever admit.

-

"You know that our relationship can possibly ruin your career?" Cliff asked after they cleaned themselves up. He was quite selfish, but not selfish enough to ask somebody to risk their entire career for love.

"I know. B-but it's worth it. It is, right?" Rick blushed, looking at Cliff expectantly "You don't have to say it back, but... I love you. More than any lady out there in the world."

"I know, buddy. Love you too."

No, Cliff wouldn't have it any other way.


End file.
